MIS-Inc Bulletin 2003.06.19

Managed IPT[1]Support

NEW:DysfunctionalRelationship Insurance (DRI)
with Special Group Therapy Treatment Scheduling*

Welcome to Managed IPT Support (MIS), a whole new concept and way of thinking about Program and Acquisition Management infrastructure support. The Managed IPT Plan (MIP) combines all the advantages of a traditional IPT infrastructure with important cost-savings features. The Managed IPT process is based on application of proven Managed Health Care programs endorsed by the Administration and effected in the private sector to realize enormous health care benefits to millions of Americans and reasonable ROI for investors and nominal remuneration for MIS-Inc managers and staff.

HOW DOES IT WORK? Under your tailored Managed IPT Plan (MIP), you choose your IPT members from a network of pre-screened accredited IPT Providers (IPs). All your program and acquisition management needs are fulfilled by members of your assigned MIS Staff (MISS) and are readily available via the GSA MIS Task Order Contract.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY CURRENT IPT? If you are like most Government managers, you are receiving IPT services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from old organization charts, old prime contractors that have been bought or sold two or three times in the past ten years, residual support contractors and a hodgepodge of defense laboratories and university expertise. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current IPT providers may not meet new federal standards, and respond to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental[2] IPT support acts. Under MIS, your infrastructure needs are coordinated by your designated MISS Integrated Coordinator (MISS IC), who will ensure the quality and goodness of fit of all your IPs and maximize cost-effectiveness.[3]

HOW DO I KNOW THAT THE PLAN'S PANEL OF IP's IS NOT MADE UP OF A BUNCH OF LOSERS WHO CAN'T MAKE IT ON THEIR OWN? Many of today's most dedicated and highly trained IPs are as concerned as we are about delivering Quality IPT Acts in a cost-effective manner. They have joined our network because they want to focus on mission actualization rather than pushing paperwork; they abhor paying the high cost of non-contributing IPTers and the concomitant heavy overhead burdens that have caused the cost of traditional IPTing to skyrocket. Our IPT Providers have met our high rigorous standards of sustaining contributory participation, attendance and punctuality.

WHAT IF I NEED A SPECIAL IPTer, SAY FOR A LUNCHEON MEETING, ADHOC COMMITTEE MEETING, CONFERENCE ATTENDANCE, EXPERT TESTAMONY, ET CETERA? Special IPTers are responsible for most of the unnecessary and expensive support activities that burden a heavily committed and encumbered management teams --- mitigating old infrastructure influence is what we are best at doing. Under your tailored MIS-Inc Managed IPT Plan (MIP), your MISS Integrated Coordinator is qualified and empowered to pre-approve your referral to a special IPTer within MIS-Inc’s Global IPT Network (GIN)should your needs fall outside of the scope of his/her assigned MISS support capabilities as contracted or tasked. Special IPTers are carefully selected and trained to provide highly focused earned value added contributions.

SUPPOSE I WANT TO OBTAIN IPT SUPPORT OUTSIDE OF THE MANAGED IPT NETWORK? You may obtain IPT support outside of the IP Network only in the event of an IPT Emergency.

WHAT IS AN IPT EMERGENCY? Your MIP (Managed IPT Plan) covers your IPT needs 24/7/52, even if you need an IPTer when you are out of town, after regular business hours, even when your dedicated MISSIC is with another customer. For example, you might be on a business trip and need to coordinate top-level requirements. In such cases you may obtain a new IPTer, and all approved IPTer support activities will be covered under the Plan, provided you notify the Managed IPT Office in Tijuana (or, for GOld Card MIP members, call the 24-hour GOMIP IPT Hotline) within 24 hours. 

WHAT IPT SUPPORT ACTIVITIES ARE COVERED UNDER THE PLAN? IPT Support Activities that are typically covered include:
          Agreeing with you
          Appearing sympathetic
          Arranging for Conference Rooms and Equipment#
          Buy America
          Chewing the fat or Shooting the breeze
          Contract Deliverable Definition Preparation
          Dropping by
          Feeling your pain or Patting your back
          Gossiping or Slinging the bull
          Hanging out or Passing the time
          Holding your hand (up to 5 minutes per activity)
[4]
          Joshin' or Kidding aroun
          Going that extra mile
          Ribbing or Teasing
          Sharing a meal (MIP member pays)
[5]
          Sole Source Justification for MIS-Inc
          Statement Of Work and/or Task Letter Preparation

WHAT IPT ACTIVITIES ARE NOT COVERED UNDER THE PLAN?
          Bar hopping
          Bending over backward
          IS competition fostering
          Lending money
          Small Business Set-Aside s over and above the minimum required by law
          #Paying for conference rooms or equipment (unless specifically authorized as a seperate line item(s) in the MIS contract)

HOW CAN I FIND OUT MORE ABOUT OBTAINING A TAILORED MANAGED IPT PLAN (MIP)? A simple phone call is all it takes. If you need an IPT, just visit our web site, http://faux.net, or call us at "One Size Fits All," 011-396-6982[6]. Sign up for the Managed IPT Plan and rest easy, all of your appropriate IPT needs will be filled.

WHO DECIDES WHAT'S APPROPRIATE FOR ME? We do. Don’t carry the awesome burden of having to disperse the decision making responsibility across an unresponsive or dysfunctional* IPT; delegate to the effective high-performance IPT Service, MIS-Inc.

*DIRI: Dysfunctional IPT Risk Insurance is available at a substantial discount for MIS customers from our affiliate, ZLDM (pronounced “zel’dim”). Zero Liability Decision Making, Inc., has a flexible DIRI Plan (“dee’rip”) that pays all psychiatric costs to provide therapy treatment sessions at scheduled rates from one day every three months up to one hour per day; the latter is tailored to treat Relational Disorders prevalent in high stress adversarial organizations where relation disorders need to be cured on a daily basis usually following a ‘morning brief.’ In addition, for those functions which are inherently non-delegatable or inappropriate for outsourcing, ZLDM also offers DRI, Dysfunctional Relationship Insurance for your organization (DRI is a full service insurance plan provided direct to you from ZLDM independent from MIS-Inc to avoid any conflict of interest). The American Psychiatric Association (APA) endorses the new field of RelationshipDisorders and MIS-Inc is an innovator in the emerging field of group therapy development and pharmaceutical testing[9] protocol implementation.

AVAILABLE NOW

IPT Consensus Management for S&T Investment Strategies.

** PIP **

Signup now for a three-month free trial of our Platinum IPT Plan (PIP)
and our free [8] one week training course, Consensual Management [7].
WhenAt your convenience.
CostALL Expenses Paid [8]
WhereCocos Is.

Be aPIP!


Footnotes:
[1] IPT, Integrated Product (or Process) Team. It has been shown that Product and Process, for our purposes, are interchangeable terms. "Product and Process Suffer from Identical Teaming Shortfalls," Darwin, ibid.
[2] Under Acquisition Reform, NEW innovation is encouraged. Old innovations and previous experiments are a waste of time and resources. "It Worked the First Time, Now it's Been Improved," Oppenheimer, ibid.
[3] MIS can guarantee minimalist oversight support cost burdening due to the receipt of $5M per year per state of Congressionally designated Federal Research and Development Center funding that supports your program. We have an MIS-Inc office in every state; each one tailored to weave your On-Site IPT needs into the local fabric. To keep corporate costs low, the MISHQ is located in Tijuana, where the rent is cheap, the food is cheaper and the telephones work most of the time except for incoming calls (Tijuana-Tele is working on the problem and is being supported by our Manáná Solution IPT).
[4] Up to 15 minutes for GOld Card MIP members (a.k.a. GOMIPers)
[5] Dutch treat permitted for GOMIPers (IPTer coverage is billable)
[6] This is NOT a local toll call, and do NOT dial a "1" first. It is also the GOMIPer IPT Hotline.
[7] Course material includes our best seller, Getting Your Way Every Time undorsed by William S.("Stick-it-to-um") Gates.
[8] All cost are covered except for (i) the non-refundable registration fee of $995.00, (ii) student transportation, food and lodging, (iii) tips and (iv) any or all consequential costs incident to attending and/or resulting from cancellation for any reason.
[9] It appears that 5 mg of Procaz taken by all members of a dysfunctional group of size five to 25 negates most Relationship Disorders to the same degree that psychopathic behaviour in an individual is mitigated by a 500mg dose - i.e., a little goes a long way when working with a MIS-Inc facilitated support group.


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